‘None of that shit happened’ is fast becoming my go to reaction while watching this season of ‘A Game of Thrones’. Or maybe I should say ‘Game of Thrones’, because HBO are above including one bloody article in a title. And that is precisely the gist of my rant.
I was raised right, so I will open with the good stuff; cushion the blow. I love this series. I discovered it when everyone else was gushing about vampires and werewolves, and it has single-handedly restored my faith in the importance of storytelling. To be clear, I mean the book series. I have not had a problem with the HBO adaptation for the major part of three seasons. Basically, my love for Mr. Martin’s work means I will continue to watch the show no matter what. But come on, HBO. I’ve had it up to here with the creative liberties.
The small ones were okay, for the most part. Replacing Jeyne Westerling with someone called Talisa as Robb’s wife. A small act of aggression, sure, but a fairly harmless one. As was that shoddy storytelling with Brandon Stark, and Reeds. Those I can forgive. Eventually. Over time, however, the deviations have grown increasingly flagrant.
I’ll just get to the heart of the matter, so we can all get back to pretending to work.
And now I must address HBO directly. Or the producers, I suppose. Their lawyers, if we’re splitting hairs.
I concede that you cannot adhere to every plot element in the books. Creative license is a beautiful thing. But I would argue that the only reason to abandon an original storyline is in the unlikely event you have a better one in mind. Why, then, has season 5 already gone to shit?
Sansa Stark being married off to Ramsay Bolton? Tsk. I just…I can’t. Brienne meeting both Stark girls and having her help turned down? In what world, sir? King Tommen getting laid? I mean, I’m happy for him, but seriously? What next, another heir to the throne? The complete and utter discarding of the Ironborn…Jaime Lannister going to Dorne to bring Mycella back? We just boarded the last train to crazy town.
I mean, I don’t get it. If, as per my logic, the deviations made more sense as a story, I would grumble but I would get behind them. But I see no such sense. At this point, it seems we are pissing on Mr. Martin painstaking construction just for the sake of it. Yeah, yeah, he is part of the writing team. Sure, sure, some of the deviations might still play out as per the end game in the books. I know, I know, your first priority is to entertain. But maybe a little more respect for the original work? Otherwise we might as well call it ‘HBO’s ridiculous re-imagining of a great fantasy series.’
Because if you continue to piss on that nice man’s work, I will stop showering your television series with praise or even recommending it to complete strangers who wanted to watch Vikings instead, and devote my loyalty to something more deserving. It is no one’s fault but your own that you burned through the content of the last two books so quickly. That is on you. Thou shalt not punish true fans for thine bad judgement.
Also, asking for a friend; are we not doing nude sex scenes anymore, or…?