Attention all bidders. Please note: the previously advertised hymen is no longer available. I repeat, the offer is no longer on the table.
Through some good fortune, we managed to find an interested party who meets and surpasses our expectations and requirements. Suffice is to say, the man knows where to put it.
The deflowering gala will be held two weeks from now at a hotel of the defloweree’s choosing. It will be a small, intimate gathering. White tie only. BYOD.
Many thanks to all the bidders. Except perhaps d_otieno95. You, sir, need to speak to someone