hymen for sale

Prospective buyer wanted.

Hymen is in mint condition. And eager. And possibly one of the three still out there.

Buyer must be of sound mind and possess rugged good looks. No beer guts, please. He must also be of average proportions, if you catch my drift, and prodigious skill. A gentle nature and sprightly disposition are an advantage (for to whisper comforting things during the deflowering).

Proof of authenticity provided. For more details contact the number at the bottom of the screen.

Opening bid is at five thousand shillings. Do I hear six?

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “hymen for sale

  1. You forgot to add that prospective buyer must show proof of sufficient phallic girth,no overgrown stubbles (pricking during deflowering postpones climax according to research) and ofcourse vast amounts of firepower to make the landrover 110 shy….the rest shall be sorted on sight.

    Like

    • Haha. we are somewhat flexible on the phallic girth. the purpose, after all, is to make the bloodbath as painless as possible.
      But the stubble I agree with. Also, do tell me more about this research?

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Inndeed….but we also do not anticipate a situation of such manhood-breaking questions as “kwani huingizi,sikuskii ndani” ,yet our poor fella was arms and legs toiling ‘inside’…thus matters girth…
    About the research,i was fortunate to have carried it out.apparently pricking stubbles have this impact of posponing climax.as she nears seeing the Lord and our fella aids the speedy arrival,unfortunately with his 3 day old scrub poking her inner neck all on the name of

    Like

  3. …all in the name of romance,the result is a remark that sends him looking for his Gillete triple blade, “ngai, kwani unakulanga steel wool? Unanigwara shingo time naenda kuclimax hata isharudi.”

    Like

comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s